Coffee Induced Reality

by Nix
(crimsonquills AT gmail DOT com)

Abby's vote of confidence got Tony as far as his car, but the moment he slid the key into the ignition it hit him all over again that he was on his way to confess his love to Gibbs. What happened to the hundred reasons not to ever say a word? When had this gone from being a terrible idea to being something he was actually doing?

"Right about the time Abby told you it was mutual," Tony muttered to himself. If anyone would know, it would be Abby. The only person who might know Gibbs better was Ducky. But knowing Gibbs didn't necessarily mean she was right. She was Tony's friend. That meant she wanted him to be happy. That meant she wanted the feelings to be mutual, which could distort her perspective. Right?

There was still time to turn back. To not do this. Gibbs would be pissed, but Gibbs was pissed at him half the time anyway and he always got over it.

Tony started the car and pulled out onto the street, but when he should have turned towards his apartment he remembered that strange, anticipatory edge to Gibbs's voice and found himself heading for Gibbs's home instead. Once he got moving it was easier to keep going, to not think about what he was actually doing and just make it to the next intersection, the next turn, the next stop sign.

And then he was at Gibbs's place and there was no more time to sit in the car and freak out, because Gibbs himself had just arrived. He stood halfway up his front walk, watching Tony's car pull up. The knot in Tony's stomach grew until it seemed to spread into his chest, making his breathe come short.

The sun was just setting, which might have been romantic if Tony hadn't been so terrified. He took his time getting out of the car and locking it behind him. For all that he dragged his feet heading towards Gibbs, the distance still seemed to vanish in no time at all.

"You okay?" Gibbs asked when he got close enough.

"Yeah." Tony swallowed in an attempt to eliminate the high, nervous tone to his voice and tried again. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Gibbs gave him an openly skeptical look before turning and leading the way up his front steps and into his home. The door was unlocked, as always. Tony had always wondered about that. Was it some subtle gesture of welcome? Into Gibbs's home? Or was he just that confident that his reputation would protect his things even while he was absent?

Inside Gibbs shed his jacket and hung it on a hook next to the door. "You want a drink?" he asked on his way to the kitchen.

Tony followed hesitantly. A little liquid courage would not go amiss right now. "Please," he said fervently. Perhaps a little too fervently, given the look Gibbs gave him. Instead of producing something alcoholic from fridge or cabinet, Gibbs put coffee on to brew and waited. "Uh, not the kind of drink I meant, boss," Tony said after a moment.

"It was the kind I meant. You said there was something you wanted to tell me?"

So much for the social niceties. Tony looked at Gibbs, still dressed in his work clothes, leaning up against his kitchen counter and watching Tony expectantly and suddenly everything was just a little too ordinary. This wasn't a weird conversation in a weird little diner with Abby and a chocolate milkshake. This was a confession he'd never intended to make, certainly not to Gibbs himself, in Gibbs's kitchen, with the smell of coffee filling the air.

"I think maybe this is a bad idea," Tony said, taking a step back out of the kitchen. "Just forget I said anything, okay?" He took another step away. "Abby plied me with frozen dairy products and maraschino cherries and I think she did something strange to my brain and I'm sure it'll all be normal again in the morning." He turned to leave.


Tony froze.


Slowly, Tony half turned back to Gibbs. He wasn't leaning back against the counter anymore. He'd straightened up. He might even have taken a step forward. "Don't what, boss?" Tony asked. His mouth was dry and his heart was pounding. The front door and freedom and normality were just a few yards away, but Gibbs was here.

"Don't leave without saying what you came to say," Gibbs said, but in some unspoken way he was asking.

Tony could count the number of times Gibbs had asked him for something, instead of just telling him, on the fingers of one hand. Even when it sounded like he was asking, he was really telling. Except not this time. This time he was asking, like this was something he wanted, and it was that thought that gave Tony the strength to walk back into the kitchen.

"You sure you want to hear this?" he asked Gibbs, half hoping that the man would say no. Surely it was obvious by now what he'd come to say.

"I'm sure."

"Okay, then." Tony nodded to himself and bowed his head. Easier not to look Gibbs in the eye. Just spit it out. "I think I'm in love with you." Tony glanced up at Gibbs without really raising his head and found a smile tugging at the corner of Gibbs's lips, his eyes crinkling with amusement.

"You think?" Gibbs asked, raising an eyebrow. "You're not sure?"

Tony's head came up at that. "Give me a break, boss! I've never been in love before."

"So what would make you sure?" Gibbs asked. His eyes were twinkling now, though he was still reining that smile in.

Tony narrowed his eyes at Gibbs. "You're fishing for something, aren't you?"

"What do your instincts tell you, DiNozzo?"

To kiss you, Tony thought. But that can't be... Tony stopped and took another look at Gibbs. Then he stepped up to him, slipped one hand around the back of his head, and drew him into a long, slow kiss. Gibbs never even hesitated, just moved into the caress smoothly. An involuntary sound of pleasure escaped Tony as he parted his lips and Gibbs's tongue slid inside.

Tony never wanted it to end. He didn't want to go from this to talking, even if it was the right kind of talking, he just wanted to keep kissing Gibbs, to keep tasting him. Putting an arm around Gibbs's waist, Tony pulled their bodies together and gasped into the kiss, because Gibbs was getting hard. The ridge of him pressed into Tony's groin and he could only rub his own aroused cock against Gibbs's and swallow the little whimpers that tried to escape.

When the kiss finally did end it was Gibbs who pulled away, though only far enough to look Tony in the eye. "In case you hadn't figured it out yet," Gibbs said, his voice low and soft in a way that made Tony feel warm all over, "the feeling's mutual."

Tony snickered. "I figured." He leaned in to kiss Gibbs again, just a brush of their lips and a flicker of his tongue. It was hard not to fall into it, to let it go on longer, but Tony forced himself to exert one last little bit of restraint. "Uh, boss?" Tony paused and moistened suddenly dry lips. "You ever done this before?"

"I've never quite done this before," Gibbs said, "but I've been to bed with other men, if that's what you mean."

"Oh, good," Tony said, letting out a long breath. Gibbs raised such an expressive eyebrow that Tony couldn't help a faint blush. "I haven't," he explained. "Been with a guy, that is. I've wanted to, it just...never really seemed to be worth it."

"Are you sure it's worth it now?"

"Do you think I didn't know what I was getting myself into before I came over here?" Tony tried to step away from Gibbs, but the older man got an arm around his waist before he managed it and held him.

"I have to be sure, Tony," Gibbs said quietly. "I don't want to lose you from my team or my bed or my life because the hiding is too much, or because you don't want to deal with a bastard at the office and at home, or because being with a man is scarier in person than it is in your head."

"It's not scary," Tony protested.

"You sure?" Gibbs asked. He slid his hands down to palm Tony's ass and gave it a long, slow squeeze. "Because let me tell you what I want, DiNozzo. I want to fuck you. I want to open up your tight virgin hole with my fingers. I want to stretch you out until I can slide my cock inside you, nice and slow. You won't believe how full you'll feel, having me inside you like that. It hurts at first, but when I find your prostate your nerves are going to light up like fireworks and you'll beg me for more whether or not it still hurts. And I'll give it to you. I'll give it to you so good and so deep that--"

"Jesus, Gibbs, stop!" Tony covered Gibbs's mouth with his fingers. "You keep talking like that and I'll come right here and we won't even get to the good stuff." Tony shuddered at the thought of the "good stuff". God, he'd fantasized about it, but to hear the words from Gibbs's lips in that soft, gravelly tone... It made Tony's cock thicken and push eagerly at the restraining fabric of his jeans. His skin felt oversensitive; he'd never wanted to be naked so badly in his life.

Looking into his eyes, Gibbs opened his mouth and took Tony's fingers inside. Tony's eyes widened as his fingers were enveloped in wet heat. Gibbs's tongue touched the pads of his fingers and Tony moaned and thrust his hips against Gibbs's groin. Shocks of pleasure ran through Tony; he found himself panting helplessly, eyes fixed on the place where Gibbs's lips closed around his knuckles.

"If you want to fuck me," Tony said roughly, "you'd better get started."

Gibbs let Tony's fingers fall from his mouth and smiled, a dirty little grin the likes of which Tony had never seen before. He turned Tony by the hips and pushed the younger man ahead of him towards a set of stairs. "Top of the stairs, on the left."

Maybe later Tony would have a chance to take in the details of Gibbs's bedroom. The only thing he was registering right now was the queen size bed. Tony toed off his shoes and crawled onto it without hesitation, pulling back the comforter so that they could just draw it over themselves later. Then he turned over to sit on the bed and caught sight of Gibbs undressing. He undid the last shirt button as Tony watched, pulled the shirt from his shoulders, and threw it into a hamper by the door.

Tony stared. He'd seen Gibbs naked before, of course, but it wasn't like he he'd been allowed to just look his fill. Now he took advantage, drinking in the sight of the smooth, defined chest and the tight nipples and the slightest softness to Gibbs's belly just where it vanished into his slacks.

"Tony," Gibbs said, sounding amused. "I wouldn't mind seeing you naked, too."

Tony blinked for a minute before the comment actually registered. "Oh! Right." He scrambled out of his own clothing, tossing it over the side of the bed, but by the time he was done Gibbs had finished stripping. Tony pouted briefly in disappointment, but only briefly. It was hard to stay disappointed when a naked Gibbs was climbing onto the bed with him. There would be other chances to watch him get naked.

"Hey there," Tony greeted Gibbs as he stretched out next to Tony. "What're you doing all the way over there?"

Gibbs laughed. "You mean all of four inches away?" he asked, reaching out to slide his hand from Tony's belly up to his chest, fingers ruffling the curls of Tony's chest hair.

"Yeah. Much too far," Tony said. He tugged at Gibbs until Gibbs cooperated and shifted over to lay half on top of Tony and half curled around him. "Much better."

Gibbs snorted and nuzzled at Tony's throat and jaw line. "You just love to be touched, don't you? Anywhere and any way."

"Isn't touching kind of the point of sex?" Tony asked, arching his neck to offer it to Gibbs. He suited actions to words, his hands traveling over Gibbs's body. So strange to feel hard lines and sharp angles under his hands instead of soft, round curves. Strange, but good. Gibbs pressed Tony down into the mattress even just lying half on top of him, his weight solid and reassuring.

"I thought pleasure was the point of sex," Gibbs murmured against his throat. He shifted until one of his thighs pressed between Tony's legs and rocked it against Tony's hard, dripping cock.

Tony gasped, shuddering, and pushed his hips towards the length of Gibbs's thigh. "That too," he managed, his voice coming thick and rough. Pressing his head back into the bed, Tony held onto Gibbs with one hand and the sheets with the other and just let himself move, thrusting eagerly against his lover. He could feel his balls tightening, getting ready. Almost time to come, just a little more...

Gibbs stopped.

Tony's eyes snapped open. He glared indignantly up at Gibbs, who just chuckled. "Not yet, Tony. Didn't I tell you I wanted to fuck you?"

"Yeah, okay," Tony said eagerly. "Now, please?"

Grinning, Gibbs shook his head. "I haven't laughed this much in bed in years."

Tony reached up and cupped his cheek. "Sex is also supposed to be fun, Gibbs. Now. You said something about fucking me?"

Gibbs kissed him quickly. "Get on your hands and knees. It's easier for the first time."

Tony rolled over and pushed himself up into position. "Good?"

"Jesus." Gibbs's voice was so stunned that Tony craned his head around and looked back at him. To his embarrassment, Gibbs was staring at him, a hungry and yet somehow almost startled look on his face. "Good, Tony? This is beyond good. This is...Christ, this is for me."

"All for you," Tony said, chuckling. "You going to take advantage any time soon?"

"So impatient," Gibbs murmured. He stroked Tony's ass gently, sending shivers up Tony's spine. "Learn to slow down and enjoy the experience." Warm, damp lips touched the base of Tony's spine, laying a gentle kiss there, even as Gibbs's hands explored the curve of Tony's ass. His skin started tingling, as if anticipating every touch, and Tony found himself breathing heavily, his eyes half shut, lost in sensation.

There was a momentary pause in the caresses, just enough for Tony to wonder what Gibbs was up to. The next touch was slick with lube, a single finger rubbing over his hole. A little twist of fear went through Tony. He wanted this and he trusted Gibbs, but damn it, this was something he'd never done before and there wasn't too much that he hadn't done in bed.

"Shh," Gibbs whispered, though he hadn't said anything, and kissed his back again. "Just relax."

Tony took a deliberate breath. Just as he let it go Gibbs pushed his finger inside him. Tony gasped and shuddered at the strange sensation. Strange...and good. He'd never thought he could be so sensitive on the inside, but every short stroke of Gibbs's finger into his hole touched nerves that no one had ever touched before and it seemed almost like they were waking up. Tony moaned softly and pushed back against Gibbs's hand, encouraging, welcoming.

"That's it," Gibbs said warmly, his free hand slowly kneading one of Tony's ass cheeks, sliding occasionally up to stroke his flank and belly. "Two now."

Two fingers stretched him a little more, but it didn't hurt. It was only a little uncomfortable. Tony leaned into it, eyes completely shut now, focusing on Gibbs's hands and the sound of his breathing and the slowly growing scent of sex in the room. Another warning and then there were three fingers inside of him and Tony had to pause and take a couple of breaths because that was kind of uncomfortable.

This is Gibbs, he reminded his trembling limbs. This is Gibbs stretching you out so that he can slide inside you because he wants you. He wants to touch you and take you, wants to make you feel good, to make you come. Just relax and let him in.

"You feel so good, Tony," Gibbs muttered. He rubbed one hand over Tony's back, tracing his spine, palming the expanse of skin on either side. "Can't wait to have you wrapped around me, hot and tight. You're going to love it. I'll make sure you love it, because I'm going to want to do this over and over again."

"Oh, god," Tony gasped. "Do it, Gibbs. Please."

Gibbs paused. "You ready?"

Tony laughed a little shakily. "As I'm ever going to be."

Gibbs's fingers slid out of him and Tony focused on staying relaxed, not clenching tight again. The tearing sound of a condom packet being opened and the soft, slithering sound as Gibbs rolled it on were good distractions. Tony pictured Gibbs's hands rolling the sheath down over his own cock and had to bite back a moan. He was watching that next time, damn it. He'd hardly gotten to see Gibbs at all and he wanted to. Wanted to hold the man's cock in his hand and taste it and...

Oh, god. Gibbs was big. Bigger than his fingers and Tony panted softly, trying to relax, trying to open up and let Gibbs inside. It did hurt, a little, but Tony didn't say stop and Gibbs didn't rush and slowly, slowly Gibbs sank into his ass, filling Tony's hole with his cock, reaching past where his fingers had touched and settling flush against him. Their skin pressed together. Gibbs's hips rested tight against the curve of Tony's butt.

Tony let his head hang down and took a moment to get used to the feeling. Gibbs was inside him. Jesus. Gibbs was inside him. He was getting used to that little bit of pain--it hardly seemed to matter now--and the sensation of Gibbs filling him up so completely was beginning to possess Tony's brain.

"Is it okay if I move?" Gibbs asked hoarsely.

Tony's dick, which had softened somewhat as Gibbs work his way inside, twitched at the sound of Gibbs's voice. Rough and hungry and desperate, waiting for Tony to be ready for him. "Yeah," Tony managed. "Slow."

"Nice and slow," Gibbs affirmed. He was true to his word, pulling out and sinking home again deliberately.

Tony's breath kept catching and stuttering in his throat. He could feel his body giving way to Gibbs, taking his cock inside. Friction and sensation heated his skin, inside and out. Warmth slowly seemed to spread from his ass to the rest of his body. Just as he thought he'd gotten used to the deep, steady strokes and the slow swell of pleasure, Gibbs moved a little and his next thrust touched off some sort of explosion of sensation.

Tony cried out, his body instinctively pushing back for more, and there it was again, brilliance arcing over his nerves. "More," he gasped, shaking.

Gibbs chuckled softly. "Thought you'd like that." He picked up the pace, fucking Tony a little harder, a little faster, and finding that spot inside of him more often than not.

It was impossible for Tony to hold back the shouts, so he didn't even try. He just lost himself in the rhythm that Gibbs gave him and the incredible, shocking moments of ecstasy and the warm undercurrent born of the movement of Gibbs inside of him.

"So good," Tony said, hardly even aware of the words. "You feel so good. Oh, god, Gibbs, I never... So much better than I thought. So much."

"Almost time to come," Gibbs answered. "'S gonna be good, Tony. Come on."

"Want to stay," Tony gasped. He squeezed his eyes shut against the desperate tone of his own voice, but Gibbs just pushed deep inside him and wrapped his arms around Tony's body and held him close, his cheek pressed to Tony's shoulder.

"There'll be other nights," he whispered. "I promise. Come with me, now." One of his hands moved over Tony's chest and belly and wrapped around his aching cock. Tony could feel the roughness of Gibbs's gun calluses as he jerked Tony off, his grip strong and steady. Shuddering, Tony let slip a helpless, hungry sound and came into Gibbs's hand.

Letting go of Tony's spent cock, Gibbs wrapped his hands around Tony's hips instead and took up his long, sweet thrusts again. There was something strangely satisfying for Tony in having the leisure to just enjoy Gibbs enjoying him, to just kneel there and let Gibbs take him. His cock was hot and thick in Tony's ass and it felt good, even though Tony had already come.

When Gibbs gasped and froze Tony could feel the heavy pulses of his cock. He wondered what it would feel like to have Gibbs spill into him unprotected. We'll get there, he promised himself. Strange to want that, but this was all strange and new and good.

Gibbs gently pulled out and Tony eased himself down onto the bed, rolling onto his side so that he could watch his lover clean up. It didn't take long. Soon Gibbs was climbing back into bed with him, slinging an arm over Tony's waist as he fit their bodies together and patting his ass affectionately. "How are you?"

Tony let a lazy grin take over his expression. "You tell me," he teased.

Gibbs snorted and gave him a much sharper smack on the ass. "Smart ass. Did I hurt you?"

"No," Tony said. "I'm good. I'm great. And I need to buy Abby a milkshake."

Gibbs raised his eyebrows. "A milkshake? Not a drink?"

"Trust me, a milkshake is much more appropriate," Tony assured him cheerfully.

"You'll explain that to me in the morning."

"It's not even eight o'clock," Tony protested. "We're not going to sleep."

"Not for long, anyway," Gibbs said casually. "Unless you don't want to try topping."

Tony could feel his eyes go wide. "I can sleep! Sleep is good."

Gibbs chuckled.