I Want to be With You

by Nix
(crimsonquills AT gmail DOT com)


Author's Notes: Timeline : Just about any time after Terma, but it was actually written after the movie and before the sixth season.


When Mulder opened the door to his apartement, he could feel it hit something and push it out of the way. The agent cautiously stepped into the apartment and glanced around before bending down to pick up the envelope the door had run into.

Before opening the package, Mulder place his gun on the coffee table, took off his suit jacket, and loosened his tie. He sat on the couch and opened the envelope with a pencil.

Inside was a slip of paper and an audio cassette. Mulder pulled out the cassette and had a look. It was unlabelled, clearly a copy or a personal recording. The slip of paper read, \\Make of this truth what you will.\\ Though it was not signed, Mulder easily recognised Krycek's handwriting. There was nothing more.

Mulder regarded the tape with suspicion. But the casing was clear, open to his inspection, and there was nothing inside but tape. Sighing in mild resignation, Mulder slipped the tape into his stereo and waited. There was a slight click, telling Mulder that this was a copy, before music came on.

--- I wanna be with you It's crazy but it's true And everything I do (oh oh) I wanna be with you

I'd like to know your policy When it comes to me Like to know what's in your mind It's not easy to see I know now what I feel And what to do I wanna be with you ---

Surprise was too mild a word for what Mulder felt as he listened to those words. He glanced at the note again, but it only confirmed to him who had sent him this song. Mulder's next reaction was pure, unadultered disbelief, but the song continued as if reacting against his emotions.

--- And I'll be waiting Until you face the truth When the light is fading you know what I wanna do ---

Mulder couldn't help but start a little at the words 'the truth'. The phrase held such meaning for him that he couldn't help but place unusual weight on it's use. For it to appear here, in this unexplained musical declaration, plunged Mulder into thought.

//Until I face the truth? Which truth? Yours, the truth you're telling me now, Krycek? Or mine? I have so many, how am I supposed to know what he's talking about... Oh, shut up, Mulder,// Mulder thought. //You know what he's talking about.// The song continued, as if to make sure Mulder knew what it said for both of them.

--- I wanna be with you It's crazy but It's true (You know it's true) And everything I do Is for you baby I wanna be with you Oh with you ---

Eyes closed, Mulder leaned his head back against the back of the couch and let the music wash over him. //Krycek's truth, mine, they're the same thing. No one ever wants to be alone, but it's so hard to find the right person to ease your loneliness. I thought it was Scully. I thought it could be Scully.//

The song went on, echoing Mulder's feelings-and Krycek's, apparently-so well that Mulder could feel a sharp ache in his heart.

--- Wish you'd come and set me free So that I can see All the things I've left behind What's missing in me I'm looking for a sign In the things you do I wanna be with you It's crazy but it's true ---

//How cruel fate is,// Mulder's thoughts continued, //that I should find the one person who could banish my loneliness forever, and that he should be my enemy. Right from the start I knew, at some level, that it was him. That's why his betrayal hurt so much, that's why I still trusted him when he came to me, that's why I can't help but love him...//

As Mulder released a shaky breath, the song slowly wound down, repeating the chorus until it faded away entirely. The FBI agent could hardly believe how strongly he'd been affected by the song. He had a sudden, powerful urge to see Krycek. Not to strike out at him, as Mulder had so often before, but to share this truth-their truth-for a moment.

The faint tap at his door had Mulder instantly on his feet, his heat leaping hopefully. Going to the door, he opened it to find Krycek on his doorstep, head bowed a little so he wouldn't have to meet Mulder's eyes. Wordlessly, Mulder stepped back and allowed his ex-partner to come inside, closing the door behind him.

The tape was still in the player, humming softly, though the song had ended. Mulder could see that Krycek had not worn his prosthetic arm, and wondered why. Krycek followed the direction of Mulder's eyes and answered his thought, "It's not a part of me," he said quietly.

Mulder nodded his understanding and reached a hand out to Krycek, brushing the other man's cheek with his fingertips. Alex closed his eyes and leaned into the touch, longing written clearing on his face. Mulder slid his fingertips gently around to the back of Krycek's neck, so that his palm cupped Alex's cheek.

Krycek did not open his eyes, as if afraid seeing Mulder would banish him. Mulder stepped in closer, drawing Alex towards him, and brushed his lips against the other man's. After this first, hesitent introduction, Alex brought his single hand up to clasp the small of Mulder's back and Mulder leaned in for a second kiss.

This time their mouths came together firmly, lips and tongues tasting, exploring. All hesitency, all uncertainty disappeared as the kiss grew deeper and more passionate. Their gentle embrace became more intense and yet more tender as they pressed their bodies together, wrapped their arms around each other, both hungry for the contact.

They broke the kiss to gasp for breath, eyes locked together, each seeing nothing else. A moment for truth descended upon them, and they whispered, perfectly in sync, "I love you."

Lips came together again, and they lost themselves in the kiss, in the intensity of it, in the perfect togetherness. Fingers moved to remove clothing, the last barrier between them. As they came together, skin against skin, Alex murmured, "No matter what happens, this is ours. Tonight is ours..."

"And any nights that come after..." Mulder added, knowing that they would have this again.

No more words were needed after that moment.