Telling the Truth

by Nix
(crimsonquills AT gmail DOT com)

Author's Notes: This is my first sex scene. It's one step beyond a PWP, but I needed the experience. Many thanks to my beta readers, Mia and Angela!

Krycek led the boy into the living room of an apartment that, for the moment, was where he slept. It wasn't home. It wasn't even his apartment. It was just a roof to put over his head for a while. Gibson settled himself in front of the TV with deceptive calm. The boy reached forward and turned the set on.

"I'm going to be looking after you for a while," Krycek informed him.

"I know" Gibson replied calmly. There was a long pause, then, "You've got so many secrets even you have a hard time keeping them straight, and you still manage to lie to yourself." Krycek started, abruptly remembering that this boy was a telepath, and wondered if there was any way to guard his thoughts.

"Don't worry," Gibson said, turning to look at Krycek with young eyes that knew far too much. "I won't give your secrets away. Not if you don't want me to, anyway." With that, he returned to watching TV and Krycek began trying to think quietly.


Mulder sat on his couch, Scully beside him, bouncing a tennis ball contemplatively. //Only Mulder,// Scully thought, //could manage to bounce a ball and look thoughtful at the same time.// "So what do we do now?" she asked. The X-Files had been reopened, they'd been reassigned...and there were no files to look into. No new cases, as of yet.

Surprisingly, Mulder had an answer for her. "We find Gibson Praise."

"Easier said than done," Scully commented in response.

"Isn't everything?" he paused for a moment, apparently gathering his thoughts. "There was a division within the Consortium. There must have been, for one of them to give the vaccine to me after they'd taken you. But the man that gave it to me is dead. Does that mean we have only enemies left?" He bounced the ball again and, beside him, Scully followed it with her eyes.

"Apparently not," she said suddenly. Mulder followed her gaze to the white square of paper that hung, by some miracle of static, on the wall. "It must have blown there when I opened the door," Scully continued, rising from the couch to retrieve the piece of paper.

\\I believe\\ was written on one side, and \\454 Virginia Place, apt.23. Alone. Quietly.\\ on the other.

"Will you go?" Scully asked her partner. She knew the answer. Of course he would go - how could he not go? He needed every lead, every mumbled word of every loony in the business to piece together his truth. Mulder nodded, even though they both knew the answer.


A brisk knock on the door alerted Krycek, and he jumped to his feet. "In the other room," he told Gibson, "now!" The boy went, shutting the door behind him. The knock repeated itself, and Krycek shut off the TV. He went to the door, standing with his back to the wall next to it, and unlocked it. Slowly, he turned the knob. When the man stepped into the room, Krycek lowered his gun and cocked it.

"Drop your gun on the floor, Mulder," he said. "Slowly."

Mulder crouched slowly and laid the gun down, rising as slowly as before. "What do you want, Krycek?" he asked, less than surprised at who had greeted him, and how.

//You,// Krycek thought, wincing inwardly as he remembered the boy in the next room. What he said was, "I want a little god damned respect from you, Mulder. I'm the only ally you've got left."

"You think you're my ally?" Mulder exclaimed in disbelief.

"I know what you saw in the Arctic," Krycek went on. "Didn't I try to tell you what was going on, that night in your apartment? Didn't I lead you to the rebel? You've gotten a hell of a lot from me, Mulder, you just don't want to admit you owe me anything."

"Allies don't hold guns on each other," Mulder said, stubbornly.

"Well, hell, Mulder!" Krycek exclaimed in frustration, uncocking the gun and dropping it on the coffee table in the middle of the room. "Good enough for you?"

Out of excuses to be angry, Mulder resorted to, "What do you want, anyway?"

"Believe it or not, Mulder, I want you to succeed. You've seen a lot, more than anyone else, but you haven't seen it all. Not even close. You and I, we've got all these little pieces of one big puzzle."

"And you want to help," Mulder said, skeptically.

"I have been helping," Krycek said, exasperated. "What I want now is protection. Whatever you can give me, I want." //Oh, the truth in that, // Krycek thought involuntarily.

"Why should I give you anything?" Mulder asked.

"Because right now, I'm holding onto one big piece of that puzzle," Krycek said, leaning in close to Mulder. The FBI agent abruptly realized that they'd been standing, talking, well within each other's personal space. //I should step back,// he thought. But he didn't. "And as much as you hate me," Krycek went on, "you want what I've got even more." Mulder shivered inwardly at Krycek's phrasing, wondering if his former partner knew just how well that statement applied...

"He doesn't hate you," a young voice said from the bedroom door.

Mulder and Krycek both turned, Mulder surprised and Krycek angry. "I told you to stay in the other room!" he said, angrily.

"No, you didn't," Gibson pointed out, "you told me to go in there, not to stay in there." The boy turned to Mulder, regarding him calmly. "Now you're even more confused than he," he pointed to Krycek, "is. Don't either of you know how to tell what you're feeling?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Krycek demanded roughly. Gibson was unafraid, as if he knew that neither of the men in front of him would dare to hurt him.

Gibson answered Krycek's question, wondering if the men in front of him would appreciate the answer. "You," he pointed at Krycek, "think he," he pointed at Mulder, "hates you. But he doesn't. And he," again, he pointed to Mulder, "thinks he should hate you. But he can't. But it gets even worse." Gibson sighed almost theatrically. "He," pointing at Mulder, "wants to love his partner, Scully, but he doesn't. Except that he wants to love her so much that he practically told her he does love her, even though it's not true."

"So who does he love?" Krycek asked, as if against his own will.

"He doesn't want me to tell you," Gibson said. Then, thoughtfully, "At least, that's what he wants me to think. He's thinking that very hard. But really, underneath, he wants me to tell the truth."

"Gibson," Mulder said, his voice both warning and pleading with the young boy. "Please don't do this." Krycek regarded Mulder with some surprise. //What secret is he so afraid of me knowing? He was willing to trust me once...I'd do anything to have that trust again. Even if I can't have his love...// Krycek no longer cared that Gibson could hear those thoughts.

"You say you want the truth," Gibson said to Mulder, "but you only lie to yourself. You have his heart," Gibson said, pointing to Krycek, "give him yours."

Krycek turned away from Mulder and the boy, as if not looking at them could take back the secret Gibson had revealed. "You've got it wrong, kid," he managed, "Mulder would rather give me a bullet."

"I'm not gonna tell you what he wants to give you," Gibson said, disgust tinging his voice. "He's got a dirty mind." The boy turned away from them and sat down in front of the TV.

Mulder stood at a crossroads. //'You only lie to yourself' the boy said. Am I lying now?// Mulder thought. //I could walk out of here like he never said anything. Like I don't want Alex.// But instead, he found himself placing a hand on one of Krycek's shoulders. "Do I?" he asked.

"Do you what?"

"Have your heart," Mulder said.

Krycek turned, so close to Mulder that he could feel warm breath brushing his lips. "If you want it," he answered, the reply torn from him. Mulder could hear in his voice that Krycek didn't believe Mulder could ever want him. The despair, the pain he heard reached into him and made him ashamed. //He's hurting, damn it! He's hurting because you're a god damned hypocrite, going on about the truth and lying about your own heart.//

Slowly, oh so slowly, Mulder leaned in and brushed his lips against Krycek's. "I want it," he whispered, "I want it in exchange for the heart I've given you." With a sound caught between a gasp and a sob, Krycek tilted his head, capturing Mulder's lips with his own. The kiss was long and deep, each man tasting the other for the first time.

When eventually they broke apart, it was only to take a breath. "I love you," Krycek whispered. "I kept trying to stay away from you. I knew it was dangerous for me to be near you. I thought you hated me...but I couldn't. I couldn't leave you." He kissed Mulder again, his lips hungry, and was met by lips as starved for him.

"And every time you showed up, I couldn't help being glad to see you." Mulder replied between kisses. "I was so angry with myself for wanting you...for loving you." He slid Krycek' leather jacket off his shoulders, pushed a hand up under his shirt.

"Mulder!" Krycek protested, "the boy!"

"He's a telepath, Krycek. Don't you think he's seen a lot worse than this?" But he moved them to the bedroom and closed the door. Mulder lowered his lips to Krycek's once again, sucking gently. Krycek moaned into Mulder's mouth, fumbling one handed with the buttons on his shirt. Mulder was surprised at how quickly Krycek got them undone...and gasped in pleasure as the other man brushed a palm over one nipple.

Clothes were shed with urgency as both men grew impatient for the feel of skin against skin. They hesitated only when it was time to remove Krycek's prosthetic arm. Slowly, gently, Mulder undid the straps and set it aside. "I still want you," he said softly, "I still love you." He reached forward and pulled Krycek against him, his skin hot and his cock throbbing with desire.

His hips moved in slow, grinding circles. Krycek groaned at the sensation, throwing his head back and thrusting his hips against Mulder hard. "Want you," he gasped out. Mulder leaned forward and nipped his neck tenderly, moving with little kisses down to Krycek's chest. He fixed his lips on one nipple and suckled gently before biting a little, causing Krycek to buck against him.

Mulder maneuvered Krycek down onto the bed, following him and covering the other man with his body. He moved his attention to the other nipple laving it with his tongue as his hands slid up Krycek's sides and to his shoulder, which he gripped as he rolled his hips. Krycek writhed under Mulder, his one hand sliding down the agent's back to caress his ass, sliding gently between the cheeks.

Krycek lifted Mulder's mouth from his now sensitive chest and pressed a finger to his lips. Mulder locked eyes with his lover, and took the digit in his mouth, wetting it thoroughly. Krycek reached behind Mulder again, finding the puckered bud and pressing inside. Mulder moaned deeply as Krycek penetrated him, thrusting against his partner forcefully. They kissed again, hungry and demanding so that both their lips were swollen from the kiss. Krycek withdrew his finger and Mulder whimpered with the loss. He presented Mulder with two fingers now and Mulder took them in his mouth eagerly.

Once again, the fingers pressed inside him and he welcomed them, thrusting in turns against those fingers and the hard cock that rubbed slickly against his own. "Please," he moaned to Krycek.

"Please what?" Krycek asked, kissing the base of Mulder's neck. "I want to hear it."

"Please make love to me," Mulder asked, "I want you inside me."

"Yesss," Krycek hissed. "We need, we need lube.." Mulder grinned evilly and slid down Krycek's body, stopping only when his mouth was level with Krycek' cock. It was flushed red and rose proudly from his groin. With out warning, Mulder took him in his mouth right to the root. Krycek cried out, almost coming from the sensation. Mulder's mouth was hot and wet, his lips soft and teasing. Krycek gripped the sheets, straining with the effort not to come, to wait until he could fill Mulder.

When Mulder judged him wet enough, he drew back and licked his lips. "You taste good," he told Krycek.

"Sit up," Krycek ordered Mulder. Mulder understood, poising himself over Krycek's cock. Hands on his hips slowly guided him down. He soon felt the head of his lover's cock brush against him. "You ready?" Krycek asked, his voice rough. Mulder could only nod. Slowly, Krycek guided him down, pressing into Mulder as easily as he could. Mulder gritted his teeth at pain that gave way so suddenly to pleasure that it took his breath away.

Finally, he sat atop Krycek, filled so fully he could hardly believe it. They waited a moment for Mulder to get used to the sensation. But soon, Krycek circled his hips, and Mulder cried out in ecstasy as his lover found his prostate. Krycek began thrusting and Mulder soon found the rhythm, meeting his thrusts in a pounding movement. Krycek sat up and his lover wrapped his legs around his waist. Their lips came together passionately, Mulder mimicking his penetration with his tongue, thrusting it in and out of Krycek's mouth.

Mulder's cock was trapped between them and, as close to the brink as he was, all it took was for Krycek to reach down and grip him to send Mulder over the edge. He came calling Alex's name. The spasming of Mulder's muscles around his cock was enough to send Krycek into orgasm as well, even as he milked Mulder's cock to the last drop. He called out Mulder's name, his first name, as he came, filling his lover with his seed.

They lay, slick with sweat and semen, limbs tangled together, atop the twisted sheets of the bed. Mulder rolled off) his lover, sighing with the loss as Krycek's cock slipped out of him. He rose and went to the bathroom, returning with a damp towel. Mulder cleaned the two of them off tenderly, smiling and kissing his lover on the lips when Krycek turned to gaze at him.

Krycek wrapped his arm around his lover, enjoying being held for a while. Finally, he had to ask what was on both their minds. "What do we do now?"

"I don't know," Mulder replied simply. "But whatever it is, this is ours. You're mine," he was suddenly possessive. "No one knows about this. No one but us."

Krycek nodded in agreement, "Is this it, then? Is this all we can have?"

"I still want you," Mulder whispered against his lover's lips. "We'll have this again. Maybe not for a while, but we'll have it." He kissed Krycek again, then, "I have to go."

"Take Gibson with you," Krycek said.

"That'll put you in danger."

"I'm already in danger. My protecter in the Consortium is dead, and I haven't yet got the influence or the power to survive there on my own. I'm leaving them again. You'll hear from me...eventually." The lovers broke apart reluctantly as Krycek spoke, and began dressing.

"If I could take you with me and keep you safe, I would," Mulder said as he finished with his tie.

"But you can't. Neither Scully nor Skinner could accept that I'm an ally, and I've got too much behind me for them to set it aside." Krycek had reattached his arm and now donned his leather jacket.

"I promise," Mulder said, "I'll see you again. I love you."

"And I love you," Krycek answered. They kissed once more before Mulder left the bedroom. Krycek waited, heard Mulder speaking to Gibson, heard them leave, heard the door shut. He sighed deeply, already waiting for the day when he and Mulder could be together again, for however brief a time.